Is It A Choice (Getting Swept Away)
by NationWide33
Summary: Regina and Emma come to terms with their feelings for each other. No set timeline. SwanQueen. Mentions of Hook, but no appearance.


Regina knows she didn't choose this.

Falling in love with Emma Swan was never something she would've expected for herself, but it's something she's fallen into with a simple grace, and surprisingly, it isn't all that horrible. In fact, it's rather pleasant, and confusingly easy.

But it's also heartbreaking, because she is painfully aware that Emma could never love her back, not like that , and so loving Emma is like choking on nothing. She can't breathe, but there's really nothing stopping the air from breathing in. It's confusing, and it fucking hurts .

It hurts like burning up from the inside out with every second she can't hold Emma or kiss her or even smile at her like she longs to.

But there's nothing she can do but soldier onwards, and continue to support the savior in her relationship with that insipid, vulgar, rum-soaked piece of utter shit. Captain Hook. The man who assisted in Regina's kidnapping and torture. The man who strapped her down and shot lightning hot electricity through her body. But honestly, she's so over it. Whatever.

"Regina?"

The former queen glances up, and shit, she should've known Emma would find her here, hidden away in her vault. Emma always seems to find her. And ugh, now she sounds like one of those disgusting Charmings that really aren't that bad and that infuriates her to no end and -

"Regina? Are you okay?" Emma interrupts her train of thought. Regina looks back up and blinks blankly before she processes what the woman said.

"Yes, dear," Regina replies absently. "I'm just fine."

"Are you sure? You don't look fine," Emma says, and goddammit but Regina knows it's true. Her skin is pale and her clothes are wrinkled and her eyes framed with bags and she's so tired and she can't remember the last time she slept.

But she would never tell the savior that. (And fuck that, of course she'd tell Emma. With a little smile and a few pleases she'd tell Emma anything, hell she'd do anything if the blonde asked nicely.)

"I'm just peachy, Emma," She says sarcastically. The spot on her cheek she was worrying with her teeth is starting to bleed.

"Okay, you're definitely not fine."

"What gave you that impression?"

"Besides the fact that you said 'peachy'? You look like hell, Gina."

"Don't call me that."

Regina's always hated that nickname, but from Emma it's not so bad. It's still pretty bad, but Emma says it in this affectionate way and Regina just melts.

"Please?" Emma asks, sitting down next to the former queen on the floor, and a little piece of Regina just breaks at the sight of her, eyes so wide and hopeful.

" Fine. I feel like hell, is that what you want to hear?"

"No, what I want to hear is how I can fix it."

"You can't fix this one, savior," Regina sighs, and Emma flinches. Regina remembers with a flash of guilt how much the blonde hates being called the savior. She mutters an apology. It goes ignored, but Regina knows she's been forgiven.

"Of course I can. Tell me about it."

Regina frowns, looking over at Emma like the woman is hurting her. And she is, she's hurting her so much, without even trying, and there's nothing Regina can do about it.

The blonde holds out a hand for Regina to take, and the raven-haired woman takes the opportunity and runs. She twines their fingers together and stares down at their joined hands.

"I'm not so good at this," Regina admits.

"At what? You're pretty much good at everything, Regina."

"Being vulnerable. You - you make it a little easier, but it's still hard," Regina says quietly, and Emma looks bewildered.

"What do you mean, I make it easier? Nevermind, this is about you. Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"I have … I suppose I've … I've done something really shitty."

"Did you just swear? Did Regina Mills just swear?" The blonde laughs. "And I seriously doubt you've done anything stupid. You're pretty much incapable of that."

"I didn't mean to, but I've … fallen for someone, that I can never have." Her heart sunk into her stomach as Emma frowned. Regina stared down at their melded hands and held back her tears. "I'm so sorry, Emma."

"Why are you - oh my god - you don't like Killian, do you? You despise him!" Emma says in disbelief. Regina nearly gags at the mere thought of loving someone as vile as Killian Jones.

"Gods no, Emma."

"Thank goodness, that would be, well, weird. And frankly, it would suck."

"Yes, it would, as you so eloquently put it, suck. "

There's a long, quiet pause. Emma is playing with Regina's fingers absentmindedly, and the former queen nearly melts at the feeling. This, she can't risk. She could never ruin this friendship. Losing Emma is something she can't fathom surviving.

"Can you tell me?" Emma asks, her voice so small. Regina shakes her head. Emma asks: "Please? You know, for moving on purposes?"

Regina freezes immediately. What the hell does that mean? And Regina has never been one to beat around the bush, so she asks, bluntly.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, I just, well, I figured someone would've told you by now."

"Told me what, Emma?" She asks, her words soft and quiet.

"That I'm in love with you?" Emma says, her nose crinkling up in confusion and it's so adorable and so undeniably Emma that Regina doesn't even pause before she just pulls Emma forward by their connected hands and presses their lips together.

Emma, in all her shock, takes a surprisingly short amount of time to get her shit together and kiss Regina back. It's a slow kiss that doesn't last very long, and when Regina pulls away she doesn't go far. Her forehead leans to bump against Emma's.

They sit like this for a few minutes, just breathing together and existing together. If Regina moved forwards at all she'd be kissing Emma again.

"I thought you were in love with someone?" Emma whispers. Regina rolls her eyes.

"Yes, you, , you idiot," She sighs in mock exasperation, and Emma's smile is so wide and beaming and her eyes go all sparkly as she asks - "Really?" - and Regina huffs.

"Yes, really."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Please do."


End file.
